Bullies

Lately, bullying has been a hot topic in the media.  It has forced the rest of us to take a closer look of how common, how unsettling, and how dangerous it can be.  One of my many worries, is that as Gabriel gets older, it may be something he faces.  And probably more likely, and more intense than most kids.  I remember.  It wasn't that long ago that I was in school.  Any weakness is an excuse to be picked on.  Foreign accent, height or weight, name, intelligence, and of course health conditions or disabilities.  How many movies or TV shows have we seen that portray the  'loner,' the weakest, or the kid whose picked on to be the one with allergies, or maybe walking around with an inhaler.  I know the reality.  I know that kids might see Gabriel as different.  I think different is just fine. 
Before the doctor recommended that Gabriel be home schooled, I had a concern.  If Gabriel did go to school, to public school with hundreds of other kids, what would it be like?  He couldn't play in the grass, and probably couldn't participate in PE class, he would eat lunch at a separate table, he would wear special jewelry indicating his allergies, he wouldn't be able to attend most field trips, and he wouldn't participate in birthday or holiday celebrations.  One of my fears, naturally, is that Gabriel would be picked on or bullied because his health is special.  Studies show that half of the children who have food allergies are bullied at school.  The studies don't specific include extreme cases like Gabriel's.  But the challenges don't stop there.  


I started researching food allergies and bullying.  The first page I read was a blog, or a mother to a young'n with a peanut allergy.  She described how difficult it had been to find a school that safely accommodated the allergy.  Sure, all schools are willing to accommodate, but they are not prepared to go  to the extreme thats necessary to prevent a reaction.  I understood what this mother felt because I have recently struggled with schools who thought their accommodations were safe, when, in fact, they were not.  After a period of time with an emotional child, with pain, and mild physical symptoms, the child finally admitted that they were scared to go to school.  This allergic child was scared to go to school because someone, a bully, might 'kill him.'  


Sure, I know that elementary schoolers threaten with horrible words like 'kill.'  Its sad, and it's depressing.  I gasped in horror, cried in empathy, and shook my head in fear when I read the next part.  
This child was scared to go to school because the bully would bring peanuts in their lunch (against school policy), and either throw them on the allergic child, or tackle and hug him after eating them.  
Oh. My. Gosh. 
 Any reservations I've been holding onto about homeschool just went out the window.  School is not an option.  I researched this a little more tonight and found that 30% of students with allergies were bullied this way.  Reports included peanut butter cookie crumbs scattered in a lunchbox, or peanut butter speed across an allergic students forehead, and sometimes thrown at them.  20% of the victimized students identified teachers or school staff as the bullies!  God, I hope these statistics are wrong.


We're spreading news, and Youtube videos about how life gets better.  The world is on board and campaigning to help save bullied teens from suicide, in fear of potential death.  Bullying is dangerous, and can cause serious depression.  Dangerous consequences can follow, and Im glad we're working to prevent it.  Suicide is not the only danger that bullying can cause.  For a child, or anyone, with an anaphylactic allergy, crumbs in your lunch box could potentially be lethal.  As adults, our job is to educate our children.  IF you know someone personally with allergies or not, it is important that your children understand how dangerous, and deadly their teasing can be.  Further more, as adults, it is important that we understand how dangerous and deadly allergies can be.  I've said this a million times, and I will say it again.  If my child appears healthy, great!  Thats because I work hard everyday to make sure he is not exposed to his allergens.  It does not mean that his allergy is exaggerated or fake.  Most adults believe that this is the case.  Educate your friends.  And ask them to educate their kids.  


The danger that kids with allergies face at school is far worse than cross contamination or friends with dirty hands.  If bullies are throwing peanuts, and sprinkling crumbs in lunch boxes our children are in danger.