An emotional child

If you've ever ran a little too fast, you know the affects it can have on your lungs.  Increased rates, less lung capacity... Now imagine running to fast, and then recovering only while breathing through a straw.  The airways on an asthmatic child are inflamed, both because the airways and swollen and narrow, and because of mucus and fluids lining the airways.  It seems nearly impossible to imagine that recovery, but thats what it feels like to an asthmatic child.  I think that asthma has become so common in our society that we so often down play its severity.  Just like when you've worked out too hard, you feel the same shortness of breath, pain in the rib, and short shallow breaths when you are emotionality upset and crying, or even when you are laughing too hard. How about fear? Same symptoms as well?

The parenting job has many responsibilities.  We focus so often on keeping our children healthy, but the job also requires that we serve as role models, instill manners, independence, social skills and educating our children.  My son is what we call in the Paul Mitchell world, a 'feeler'.  He is emotional, and his feelings are easily hurt.  Sure, most children have a touch of 'feeler' in them, but my son is particularly sensitive.  Like I was at his age; at his happiest, he sings, dances, and showers you with love, but at his saddest, he cries the heartiest cry and sobs with sorrow.  Its heart-wrenching even to watch.  I love how sensitive he can be to the feelings of others, and even the compassion he shows for the homeless collecting coins.  My struggle, however, is dealing with this emotionally sensitive little boy- while he's breathing through a straw.  On a random occasion, nearly once every month, Gabriel hates to see me leave him at school.  Even when he's a 4 year old preschool professional, on the days he's either tired, not feeling well, or just feeling a bit emotional, the mere thought of me leaving him at school for the day causes a breakdown.  He cries so hard he sobs, and his breathing appears labored.  His hysteria heightens, and his cries sound louder- between gasps.  Now, if you've ever cried, I mean a real, upsetting cry; you've felt the feeling of gasping for air while painfully hiccuping, and felt the muscles spasming in your diaphragm.  And imagine that through a straw.  The coughing begins,  and just like after a long run, his heart is racing, and his muscles are tightening.  I keep it short and sweet, and kiss his clammy forehead goodbye.  I leave the classroom, and I close the door.  My heels echo down the hall as I take several steps, but I'm not going anywhere.  On days like these I wait.  As I turn the corner , and rest my back against the hallway wall, I sigh.  With a deep breath, in my clear, healthy lungs, I painfully exhale, and every time, this is where my eyes fill with salty tears.  I bite my lip, and cover my face with my palm. The moment I try to blink hard enough to wipe the tears away, they run down the side of my cheek.

What do you do in a situation like this?  Sure, I wait it out to I hear him calm down- I stay close enough to hear his breathing, and to make an emergency medical decision if necessary.  What causes your children to cry?  Discipline?  Punishments?  Lectures and lessons?  You've heard that some of life's lessons can be painful? As parents, we try our best to teach our children right from wrong, and pray that we make them as painless as possible.  What if painful literally means physical pain in the chest, and difficulty breathing? When do you sacrifice teaching your child a lesson for the sake of their well being? For me, its very gray.  I try 'coach' Gabriel in the most gentile way, but sometimes a 4 year old requires a stern tone.  Sometimes I err on the side of caution, and give in to his dangerous sobs, and sometimes I stay firm, Albuterol nearby, to instill discipline and respect.  The problem is there is no right answer, we have to trust our best judgements, and hope that our children grow up learning our values, and prideful behaviors.  If you are concerned with the health of your children, concerned with their upbringing, and if you are debating how to best balance the two: trust your fair instincts, stick to your guns when you can, and continue loving your children wholeheartedly.  If those are your concerns, and you struggle to walk that fine line between health and values, I am confident;  you an absolutely amazing parent.