Beyond what you can see

I try incredibly hard to make Gabriel feel no different from other kids his age.  We try to not miss school, I find fun safe things to do on weekends, and I make sure that Gabriels food look's and tastes like what his friends eat.  I spend so much energy helping Gabriel blend in, that I forget that in some ways, he needs to be treated different.  And sometimes- theres nothing wrong with a little different.  I am proud that Gabriel goes to school full of energy, lunchbox full of snacks, healthy and strong, everyday.  You've heard that looks can be deceiving?  When friends, teachers, and sometimes family- or new doctors, look at Gabriel, they don't see the prescriptions and breathing treatments he had this morning, and they especially don't see what is missing.  By nature I am optimistic, I see the glass half full, and I'm proud of that.  So I will take a moment to appreciate how much Gabriel has grown, how happy and active he is, and that he is intelligent beyond his years.  I am blessed that I love to cook for him, and that he enjoys the foods that his can eat!    Society doesn't seem to understand the severity and allergies and asthma.  I understand that Gabriel is an extreme case, and for some it is difficult to believe.  It takes a bit of negative pessimism to describe all of what he cant have, and avoids.  Maybe it is the rarity- or maybe the public isn't educated on allergies- but sometimes I feel like he should wear a sign that says "Be careful, I have allergies."  I asked that children not be allowed to bring peanut butter to school, and the staff thought it was a crazy idea.  "We cant take peanut butter away from those kids, that just wouldn't be fair."  I've explained to staff at Gabriel's school how important it is he not sit anywhere near a kid who bring dangerous nuts in their lunch.  Still, nearly everyday, I have to move his placemat to a different table at lunchtime. I am glad that my schedule has recently given me the flexibility to visit Gabriel's school at lunch time, but I cant be everywhere.  You can imagine the fear I experience on a daily-rather hourly, or by the minute- basis.  On the average day Gabriel appears healthy, he goes through his day and plays with his friends- but on the accidental occasion that he may even inhale one of his dangerous allergens, he may experience anaphylaxis.  Anaphylaxis is called a life-threatening reaction because it actually threatens your life.  I am sure that no one brings peanuts in public to be careless, or because they don't give a hoot about someone else's life-  I am certain that they are just unaware of what a life threatening allergy is.  Some disabilities are aesthetic.  You can immediately see what challenges some may face- and hopefully even go out of your way to open a door, or help when you can.  When someone suffers from life threatening allergies you cant see it in the form of a physical malformation, you don't see a dog in an orange vest leading them around, and hopefully, you don't ever have to witness what a dangerous allergic reaction looks like.  Most of what we do- as parents of allergic and asthmatic children- is work to prevent reactions, to avoid triggers, and hope to never ever have to experience that.  Sometimes, the most adorable, jubilant, healthy-looking children seem so healthy and happy because there are doctors, nurses, and dedicated parents that have created a daily plan of prescriptions, steroids, diet, and a stuffed animal and carpet free lifestyle to keep them that way.  When we travel, we fly Southwest Airlines, because Southwest will offer a peanut-free flight when requested based on allergies. "Folks, today we will be offering only pretzels because there is a traveler on board with a peanut allergy, so please, if you're traveling with peanut products of your own, please wait until you exit the plane to enjoy them"  They announce at the beginning of the flight.   I appreciate it- because without it we wouldn't be able to travel, but believe it or not, I've heard angry groans from rows behind me "Well why cant they serve me peanuts just cause someone else is allergic, thats not fair!!"   Im sorry that sometimes we take away your roasted, salted airline snack, but thank you for keeping these allergic children alive onboard!  So, no, Gabriel doesn't wear a sign warning the world about his allergies, and I know that most people we meet honestly don't believe me.  I'm not writing to convince anyone, or complain how sick Gabriel really may be at his worst.  I blog everyday to educate the rest of the world about how dangerous allergies can be, and believe me or not, please just take it seriously.